Arg! I frustrate myself to no end sometimes!

I have a problem.  Whenever I'm talking to someone I might like online, especially when I haven't even met them yet, psychologically I feel like I'm already in a relationship with them.  I do that crazy thing that girls do, like planning our whole future and stuff.  I get my hopes up so much, that there's nowhere to go but a let down.  ** okay, so what started this post: matt isn't coming down till the end of the month at best. And I don't know if I want to wait that long to meet him, because I feel bad when talking to other people online.  It's just frustrating, but I'm trying to get over it.  If someone else comes into the pic, I'm not going to turn them away.  I'm not attached until we've actally met, at least.  The problem is getting myself to believe that.  AAARG!

I am still getting the feeling that I'm wasting my life away, waiting on the PC to get back with me.  It's freaking annoying.  I know I should be flexible, and I am, I just don't want to wait 3 years before I get to go.  It would help if they would just give me something definite.  I think I'm going to try to get a temp job for the holidays, not sure where to try though, KC? MHK? Hutch?  I'd like to avoid that last one I think.

Sometimes, when I think about the universe, I feel ridiculously insignificant.  And I know that in the grand scheme of things, I am.  It's very liberating in a way.  It means that nothing I do, within reason, will make a damn bit of difference in a thousand years, or even a hundred for that matter.  It is also depressing though, that nothing I do will matter.  It gives one no purpose in life.  But I guess we make our own purposes for our lives.  I think mine is just to learn from it.  Not necesarily facts and things, but stuff that really matters, like how to be happy and stuff. 
Now, I know, everything we do has an effect, to some extent, on everything in the universe.  So anything we do could have devastating or wonderful reprocussions.  But we'll most likely never know the role we play in those types of things.  I guess if I nuke a continent, I'd know, but I'm not going to do anything like that.  And I guess if I invent cold fusion, that could make a huge impact, but if I don't, eventually someone will, so it won't make that big of a difference.  If it is supposed to be discovered, it will be.  I guess the best I can do is take what the universe deals me and learn what I can from it.