Good Grief...

I know... I know, it's been over a month.  This is an update, so will probably be just a random babbling... sorry.

Not much new has happened, I guess.  I spent last weekend in Manhattan.  THat was fun, I hadn't been in almost two months, and I didn't realize how much I missed it.  We had good times, and lots of booze, and travis's brother is still hot ;-).  So many things have happened there, that I'm already starting to not be quite as at home there as I used to be, which makes me sad.  C'est la vie.

Target is not too bad.  It's one of the better jobs I've had in Hutch.  The people for the most part are great, and some of them are a real hoot.  I don't like closing shifts though, they can run until after 1am.  YUCK!  There are some real hotties that work there, :-) and on my team too.  But the sad part is I'm too old for all of them.  I feel like I'm kind of between social groups there, I'm too old for the college kids, and I'm not married with children, so I don't have anything to talk to the older crowd about.  I kind of feel sometimes like I'm back in high school and I'm still not one of the cool kids.  But it doesn't matter really, I only have three more shifts there anyway.  Day after Christmas is my last day.

I have less than three weeks until I ship out now, and it's really starting to get to me.  I guess I'm just now feeling the full realization that I'm going to another continent, climate, and culture, and won't be back here to my peeps for over 2 years.  AAAAHH!!! What have I gotten myself into!?!?!?  I'm sure I'll be okay though, I've coped very well so far with every other major change in my life, and I'm sure this will be no different.  I still worry that I'll get over there and no know what the hell I'm doing and fail misserably, but I guess I have those all the time, and things usually work out.  I really should have more confidence in my abilities.  I think it's just that I'm pretty good at faking it, at least in school, and I'm worried that when push comes to shove, I won't be able to perform.

Tomorrow we're going on a shopping spree at Target to take advantage of my discount and get all the things I might need or want.  I'm going to get most of the clothing at the goodwill though, It will be cheeper there anyway. 

Christmas is flying at my face like a brick wall.  I have to work early the day after, then go to parsons that evening and apease Mom's side for a few days.  Then up to KC for New Years with my "real" family, a quick stop in Manhattan for some goodbyes, and back here to actually start packing shit to go. 

.......... in the back of my mind, I keep thinking, "It's still not too late to back out".......